COUPLE THERAPY


Lots of people have an idea of what relationship counselling is and may think that we only need counselling when things get really bad. That is not always true, and in reality, there is no right or wrong time to access couple therapy. As an integrative therapist, I work in many different ways with individuals and couples and we cover a varied array of topics and relational challenges. Not every couple is in a romantic relationship, a couple simply refers to more than one person where the relationship is the focus of our work together. Some are in relational crisis, others are looking to simply deepen their connection or work out a big decision that is on the horizon.
If you are in a romantic relationship, regardless of gender or marital status, I will often use the tried and tested Gottman Methods in our work. The method stems from over 40 years of clinical research about what makes a partnership or marriage more likely to be successful…or not! I offer this method as I find using a science-based approach helps to eliminate the stigma and blame that can surround a couple who find themselves struggling in their relationship. This often provides great relief for my couples, especially if they’ve been struggling for a while and don’t understand what is going wrong or just don’t know where to start. Using the Gottman Relationship Checkup (a confidential online tool for assessing how you are both experiencing your relationship) really does take some of the guesswork out of our sessions. Being able to look at the strengths and challenges in your relationship from the outset also allows us to efficiently get to the heart of what is going on for you as a couple, which will, of course, save you both time and money in the long run - and who wouldn’t want that?
Regardless of how we decide to work together, during our sessions, I will encourage and facilitate a process where you are both able to find your voice and work things out. I will never judge either party or 'take sides' but I will be honest and direct in my observations of how either one of you is communicating or behaving and will offer an alternative way if I think it will benefit our work. That said, just like in any form of relational counselling, it is not about me telling either person what to do, and it is worth mentioning from the outset I do not offer a service of 'fixing' one person in the relationship. Instead, I support positive communication, where our sessions can help you both address any issues and come to your own decisions about how to progress in your relationship.
This might involve things like observing how you interact with each other, and trying out new ways of communicating. We might consider how you spend time together or how you deal with specific issues as a couple. There will be space to explore your challenges together and, as your therapist, I will be active and engaged to help facilitate that process.
In order to help you both experience the change you wish to see, in some cases, this process might require ‘homework’ to be completed outside our sessions. This will be unique to each couple but can take the form of topics to discuss, alternative ways of dealing with certain situations or completing a specific task or worksheet together. Alternatively, other couples may simply wish to work through a difficult issue with a little guidance to encourage open communication. We can figure this out during the assessment process as we work together to create a therapy that feels right for you both.
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Your situation, and what you are looking for, will be unique to you and we can tailor our sessions in a way that is effective and enables you to reach your goals. If you are not sure what you might need or would like a conversation about the possibilities, please do get in touch so we can explore this together with a Discovery Call.
