RELIGIOUS & SPIRITUAL TRAUMA
Each individual situation is unique, so whether you are still physically in but mentally out (PIMO) of your group/religion or physically out and mentally out (POMO), my integrative approach to therapy looks to provide a safe, compassionate space where you can process your past, rebuild your sense of self, and explore new pathways forward.
All at your own pace and in the direction you want to go.
A NOTE ABOUT RELIGIOUS AND SPIRITUAL TRAUMA​
Religious or spiritual abuse or trauma can be really difficult to define or deal with, especially when it comes from high control religious groups, cults or captive organisations. If you are questioning your faith or the legitamacy of a group you have been in, it can sometimes feel like your sense of self is gone, and you can’t even trust what you think anymore.
It might feel like you’ve hit a dead end in your life and are lost, or maybe you feel cut off by your family and friends who are still part of the group, which makes it all so much harder.
For some people though, the word ‘trauma’ or ‘cult’ might sound a bit over the top or even offensive.
Maybe you were born into the religion, and that’s just how things were and you can’t even contemplate that it might have been cult like...but you know something was or isn't right. You might be wondering if you should even raise religion or question your upbringing with a therapist. It may feel disrespectful to God or others, and even seem dangerous for you to have these thoughts or doubts.
You might also feel a lot of shame, which makes this subject even more tricky to navigate, especially with someone you don’t know.
If you can relate to any of those thoughts or feelings, please know that it’s all totally understandable and I’m glad you’ve found yourself here.
WHY IS CHOOSING A THERAPIST WHO SPECILISES IN RELIGIOUS DIFFICULTIES IMPORTANT?
For a lot of challenges we might face in life, successful therapy does not often require the therapist to have a personal experience of the difficulties we’ve had. In fact, that shared experience might even be a negative, as no two experiences are the same and comparing often isn’t helpful. ​​​​
​However, when considering religious trauma, and particularly high control groups/captive organisations, it can be important to find a therapist who has a deep personal understanding of this area - because a therapist who has lived through similar experiences can offer a level of empathy that goes beyond academic knowledge. They truly 'get it’ and understand the nuances, the emotional complexity, and the specific difficulties that come with being part of a challenging and controlling group.
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Still, whether or not you’ve had a similar experience in the same organisation, it’s crucial for your therapist to grasp the mechanics of how these groups work. Because although all groups/religions are different in terms of faith and what they believe to be the ‘truth’, most will use similar manipulative and coercive control tactics that might not be immediately apparent to the outside world but are widespread and damaging to their members. Because of this secrecy and control, people who’ve left cults or captive organisations often feel isolated, misunderstood, and unsure where to turn.
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Having a therapist who already has some understanding of the language, rules, and what is required to be a member (and the challenges of leaving) can mean you don’t have to spend your time explaining so much, and instead spend more time working toward your personal goals.
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HOW I WORK​
I aim to provide a space to explore and consider what is going on for you, all the while helping you to feel less alone in your journey. Whatever your experience, I passionately believe your feelings are valid, wholly understandable, and I am confident that they will make absolute sense once we begin to explore them. The way I work reflects this belief.
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At the core of my therapeutic approach is an awareness that your spiritual or religious experiences are deeply personal, and the effects of any trauma related to them will be complex. Because let’s be honest, if you are reading this you might even have a part of you that is shaming you for simply questioning if you should even be having thoughts of leaving or considering your faith. Sometimes, if there is a potential for shunning to be a consequence of this work, then there is a lot a stake and much to think about before you take any action.
1. Trauma-Informed Therapy
As already mentioned, religious and spiritual trauma can have a deep psychological, emotional, and physical impact. Whether it's from being in a high-control group or what is known as ‘church hurt’ from harmful experiences in mainstream religious institutions, I can assure you the trauma is real. In my practice, I prioritise a trauma-informed approach, which means creating a safe and non-judgmental environment where you can explore your experiences without fear of re-traumatisation.
This includes:
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Building a trusting therapeutic relationship at a pace that suits your needs.
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Helping you regain a sense of control over your life, choices, and beliefs - I will not be telling you what you should do.
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Providing tools to regulate emotional overwhelm, anxiety, and distress as you navigate this journey.
2. Respect for Your Spiritual Identity
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I believe spirituality is a diverse and deeply personal experience. Some clients who come from high-control religious groups may want to completely leave their former faith behind, while others may desire to re-engage with their spirituality in a healthier way. Some may have lost their sense of connection to any form of spirituality altogether. My role is not to push any specific belief system but to support you in defining what spirituality or religious identity means for you—whether that means rediscovering it, reshaping it, or walking away from it.
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3. Navigating Fear, Obligation & Guilt (getting out of the FOG!)
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Many survivors of religious trauma or high-control groups carry heavy burdens of fear, obligation and guilt due to indoctrination and often unconscious manipulation. Messages about shame, unworthiness, sinfulness, or condemnation can linger long after leaving the group or community and it can be hard to navigate this fog like state. To help us understand how that is showing up for you, I might offer tools from DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) or perhaps use IFS (Internal Family Systems) to notice which parts of you might be activated and having a hard time. Using the principles of acceptance and change will allow us to work through these difficult and often confusing emotions while developing a new understanding.
4. Rebuilding Trust and Autonomy
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High-control groups often strip members of their autonomy and instil mistrust in the outside world, and even in their own thoughts and feelings. My therapeutic approach focuses on helping you reclaim your power, rebuild your autonomy, and learn to trust yourself again. Through collaborative therapy, we will work on:
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Rediscovering your core values and beliefs.
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Cultivating critical thinking and independent decision-making.
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Reconnecting with your intuition and inner wisdom.
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5. Healing from Complex PTSD and Dissociation
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Many who have experienced spiritual trauma or high-control group environments develop symptoms of complex PTSD (C-PTSD), including dissociation, hypervigilance, chronic stress and the subsequent challenging health conditions that come from all that. We must work in a way that is trauma-informed, and above all collaborative to help you heal from the potentially deep wounds that can be caused by long-term exposure to coercive or abusive environments. At times this may mean noticing what is happening for you in the moment, gently reconnecting with your body and emotions, and processing traumatic memories safely.
6. Addressing Grief and Loss
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Leaving a high-control religious group often involves a profound sense of loss. It may mean the loss of a community, family relationships, a structured worldview, or even a sense of purpose and identity. Together, we will honour your grief and explore ways to navigate the uncertainty that comes with leaving a rigid belief system behind.
This may involve:
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Acknowledging the complexity of grief in this context.
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Mourning lost relationships or missed life experiences.
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Exploring how to rebuild a support system and sense of belonging outside the group.
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All that said, its important to recognise that your religious or spiritual background is only one part of your story, albeit a very important one. Whether you want to focus on trauma recovery, reframe harmful beliefs, or reconnect with your sense of purpose and meaning, I will meet you where you are, and look to create a therapy that is unique to you.
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