Can online couple therapy really work as well as in-person?

 

Yes - and for many couples, it actually works better in some ways. Online sessions make it easier to fit therapy into busy lives, and being in your own familiar environment can sometimes help you feel more relaxed and open. With a little careful set up, PACT works beautifully online because it focuses on real-time interaction - how you look at each other, respond, and repair — all of which translate through the screen. (Plus, there is no need to find parking or worry about getting back in time for dinner!)

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What if my partner isn’t as keen on therapy as I am?

 

It’s very common for one partner to be more eager to start therapy than the other - in fact, it’s to be expected really. Sometimes one person feels the strain more, or is simply more ready to talk things through. That’s okay. Therapy can still be incredibly valuable, even if you’re starting from different places. Many people discover that what they learn about themselves in couple therapy - how they communicate, manage conflict, or reach for connection - ripples into every other relationship: with family, friends, colleagues, and even themselves. So while the focus is on your primary partnership, the benefits often extend well beyond it. Just showing up and giving it a try is often the hard part. So long as you are both willing to be open minded about engaging in the process, that’s where we start. Enthusiasm will likely show up later and is not a prerequisite to getting started!

 

How many sessions will we need and for how long each time?

 

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to this question. Some couples benefit from a handful of focused sessions, while others choose to work longer-term to deepen understanding and strengthen their bond. Similarly, some can only work for an hour a week because of time challenges or financial limitations, while others have 2 hours sessions or half day intensives. The reality is, longer and more frequent sessions are often the most effective way of approaching couple work, but one hour a fortnight is going to be better than not engaging in therapy at all. During your Discovery Call, we’ll talk about your personal circumstances, what you’re hoping for and decide on a pace that feels right for both of you.

 

Do you only work with romantic couples?

 

Not at all. “Couple therapy” or relationship therapy simply means working with two people in a relationship - romantic or otherwise. I also work with friends, family members, co-parents, and others who want to improve how they communicate and understand each other. The focus is always the relationship between you, in whatever form that takes.

 

Will you take sides or tell us who’s right?

 

No - and that is for the best, even if it's frustrating for you both at times! Outside of things that are causing harm such as abusive behaviour or domestic violence, my role isn’t to judge who is right or wrong, but rather to help you both understand how things go wrong and what it is that helps you find your way back. I’ll be honest and direct in my observations, but always with compassion and curiosity. The goal isn’t to win because that would mean your partner would lose, and that is never going to end well for either of you. Instead we work towards both parties feeling safe, seen, and understood.

 

What happens in the first session?

 

Our first session is about getting to know you both and understanding what brings you to therapy. I’ll invite you to share a little about your relationship - the good stuff, the hard times, and what you hope to change. We might start noticing the ways you communicate in real time, but there’s no pressure to “perform” or have it all figured out. Think of it as the start of a collaborative process - a gentle exploration of where you are now and what would help you feel more connected. From there we plan our next sessions and how we might work together.

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